Nice! I would add that because most women who have abortions already have children, the abortion access node should have a longer timescale, maybe even up until perimenipause
Yes! Absolutely! That's why it has a long tail that covers the entire range but maybe the darker circle just needs to carry across the entire map because it really does affect us our entire reproductive lifespan... and beyond! As an example, I'm not as worried for myself anymore but my daughter is now a tween and I'm already worried about what this means for her future living in a body that could become pregnant in America.
This map is amazing, validating, horrifying, and not surprising. I'm going to add some stressors as a transracial adoptive mom. Please, no pressure to add this but its a unique experience with stressors that are unrecognized and some very uncomfortable to talk about. Writing as a way to clarify for myself:
The Adoption Process (not including the foster care system/route):
-Choosing an agency - finding one with weird christian white savior perspective
-The scrutiny!
-The needing to be able to answer: where will your kids go to school, how will you discipline, etc. when you never thought about it before
-The extreme financial costs
- The having to prove you are certain about this choice when you're not
- The waiting and hoping to be chosen by a birth family
- Meeting and creating a relationship with bio parents if available
- Trying to look like good parents without being selfish and acknowledging birth families pain and the systemic injustices that lead to this situation
-Evaluating your life and relationships in terms of safety/belonging/modeling/diversity/awareness of racism for your future child
- Unexpected or early birth/ health concerns
- Not feeling like you can or should celebrate becoming parents due to the uncertainty
Ongoing Stressors:
-Navigating relationships with birth families including generational trauma, family conflicts, disapproval of birth parent's choices
-Holding the disparity of wealth and privilege between us and birth families.
- Being what is called a conspicuous family aka we stand out
- Honoring the pain of adoption while also wanting birth family to be as connected as they want to be.
-Balancing kid's longings for connection with birth families with what is actually possible and available.
-Learning to style a different hair texture and getting much more scrutiny that bio families
-Being told that you are amazing, a saint, etc when actually you just selfishly wanted to be a parent AND managing the impact that message sends to our children. AHHHHH!!!
- Having so little health, history, or family information
- Feeling pressure to perform awareness of cultural norms, threats from racism, etc while also never truly knowing from a lives experience
- Fostering connections to birth families and birth culture
-Fear someone will not recognize that you are the parents, needing to be able to prove this
- Helping kids manage when they get questions about their family
- Being present to child's pain and trauma
- Different adoptions in the same family means different levels of contact between birth families due to their unique situations
- Preparing a child for survival and success in a racist country while also not making them fearful
-Being a buffer and educator on micro aggressions - which is often met with white fragility
-Balancing telling your child their story while making them feel so loved AND not revealing information about birth family they are not ready for.
- Facilitating relationships between birth families and extended family members who are not familiar with other cultures and not open to learning
-Pressure to show up to birth family events despite challenges of distance, scheduling, other commitments
-Figuring out boundaries with people in our lives who vote against our children's best interest and basic rights
Ooof - there are probably a lot more, this is just MY experience. I'm stopping now before I get too overwhelmed.
Nice! I would add that because most women who have abortions already have children, the abortion access node should have a longer timescale, maybe even up until perimenipause
Yes! Absolutely! That's why it has a long tail that covers the entire range but maybe the darker circle just needs to carry across the entire map because it really does affect us our entire reproductive lifespan... and beyond! As an example, I'm not as worried for myself anymore but my daughter is now a tween and I'm already worried about what this means for her future living in a body that could become pregnant in America.
This map is amazing, validating, horrifying, and not surprising. I'm going to add some stressors as a transracial adoptive mom. Please, no pressure to add this but its a unique experience with stressors that are unrecognized and some very uncomfortable to talk about. Writing as a way to clarify for myself:
The Adoption Process (not including the foster care system/route):
-Choosing an agency - finding one with weird christian white savior perspective
-The scrutiny!
-The needing to be able to answer: where will your kids go to school, how will you discipline, etc. when you never thought about it before
-The extreme financial costs
- The having to prove you are certain about this choice when you're not
- The waiting and hoping to be chosen by a birth family
- Meeting and creating a relationship with bio parents if available
- Trying to look like good parents without being selfish and acknowledging birth families pain and the systemic injustices that lead to this situation
-Evaluating your life and relationships in terms of safety/belonging/modeling/diversity/awareness of racism for your future child
- Unexpected or early birth/ health concerns
- Not feeling like you can or should celebrate becoming parents due to the uncertainty
Ongoing Stressors:
-Navigating relationships with birth families including generational trauma, family conflicts, disapproval of birth parent's choices
-Holding the disparity of wealth and privilege between us and birth families.
- Being what is called a conspicuous family aka we stand out
- Honoring the pain of adoption while also wanting birth family to be as connected as they want to be.
-Balancing kid's longings for connection with birth families with what is actually possible and available.
-Learning to style a different hair texture and getting much more scrutiny that bio families
-Being told that you are amazing, a saint, etc when actually you just selfishly wanted to be a parent AND managing the impact that message sends to our children. AHHHHH!!!
- Having so little health, history, or family information
- Feeling pressure to perform awareness of cultural norms, threats from racism, etc while also never truly knowing from a lives experience
- Fostering connections to birth families and birth culture
-Fear someone will not recognize that you are the parents, needing to be able to prove this
- Helping kids manage when they get questions about their family
- Being present to child's pain and trauma
- Different adoptions in the same family means different levels of contact between birth families due to their unique situations
- Preparing a child for survival and success in a racist country while also not making them fearful
-Being a buffer and educator on micro aggressions - which is often met with white fragility
-Balancing telling your child their story while making them feel so loved AND not revealing information about birth family they are not ready for.
- Facilitating relationships between birth families and extended family members who are not familiar with other cultures and not open to learning
-Pressure to show up to birth family events despite challenges of distance, scheduling, other commitments
-Figuring out boundaries with people in our lives who vote against our children's best interest and basic rights
Ooof - there are probably a lot more, this is just MY experience. I'm stopping now before I get too overwhelmed.