The nature metaphors are so perfect to illustrate what it can FEEL like as a mother. Thank you for the shout-out and for such an accurate representation of this constant stress and tension we live as mothers.
This is mind bending in the best way. Count me in for pushing back by not supporting coercive “good mother” parenting advice. Thank you for your invaluable work
It’s the way we get on board and agree with recommendations/ procedures /advice because we experience an internal pressure that our baby or child’s needs should ALWAYS take precedence over our own. Even if the health risk to them is low and the health risk for us is high. It’s in the way we nurse until our nipples bleed or in how we walk away from a traumatic birth experience thinking that everything done to our bodies was justified.”
Loved this. And I just watched a nature documentary that also likened a snake’s death to motherly love—barf!
A plaque in a museum in Tokyo told the story of a daughter who drowned searching for her father in a river. It typified the concept of familial piety, which includes the idea that children owe everything, up to and including their very lives, to their parents. This proves that the opposite idea, that mothers should sacrifice everything, up to and including their very lives for their children, is neither universal nor "natural," but a part of Western culture which we can and should interrogate.
Have you come across Dr Sophie Brock’s work - motherhood studies sociologist who talks about perfect mother myth. I’d love to hear a conversation on coercion with you both.
Thanks for the footnote! I’ve been using the concept more or less intuitively and hadn’t given a lot of thought to the definition and how the force and threat it entails manifest so I found your piece really helpful for thinking through those things!
Even if you've used it intuitively, it totally works in your writing and I really appreciated the added perspective you brought to how it aligns with sexism/misogyny and patriarchal systems.
The nature metaphors are so perfect to illustrate what it can FEEL like as a mother. Thank you for the shout-out and for such an accurate representation of this constant stress and tension we live as mothers.
This is mind bending in the best way. Count me in for pushing back by not supporting coercive “good mother” parenting advice. Thank you for your invaluable work
Yes! Maternal rebels, unite!
It’s the way we get on board and agree with recommendations/ procedures /advice because we experience an internal pressure that our baby or child’s needs should ALWAYS take precedence over our own. Even if the health risk to them is low and the health risk for us is high. It’s in the way we nurse until our nipples bleed or in how we walk away from a traumatic birth experience thinking that everything done to our bodies was justified.”
Loved this. And I just watched a nature documentary that also likened a snake’s death to motherly love—barf!
Barf, indeed.
Thank you for this, Lane! And thank you again for your powerful writing :)
A plaque in a museum in Tokyo told the story of a daughter who drowned searching for her father in a river. It typified the concept of familial piety, which includes the idea that children owe everything, up to and including their very lives, to their parents. This proves that the opposite idea, that mothers should sacrifice everything, up to and including their very lives for their children, is neither universal nor "natural," but a part of Western culture which we can and should interrogate.
This is such a fascinating point, Cathy!
💕💕💕
Loved reading this. Thanks for sharing.
Have you come across Dr Sophie Brock’s work - motherhood studies sociologist who talks about perfect mother myth. I’d love to hear a conversation on coercion with you both.
I know of Dr. Sophie Brock's work but I haven't dove in as much as I would like to. I would LOVE to talk with her. Thanks for the suggestion :)
Thanks for the footnote! I’ve been using the concept more or less intuitively and hadn’t given a lot of thought to the definition and how the force and threat it entails manifest so I found your piece really helpful for thinking through those things!
Thank you, Lexi!
Even if you've used it intuitively, it totally works in your writing and I really appreciated the added perspective you brought to how it aligns with sexism/misogyny and patriarchal systems.